Training as a Team Leader. Back into the song writing.

Yesterday (I’ve yet to sleep so I don’t know if it still counts as today even though it’s 6 a.m. the next morning.) was kind of awful. Aaron had to nearly drag me to work because I felt just… miserable. I get there with nearly no speaking voice and where do they put me? Drive-thru. I mean, people could barely hear me! 

I was working with Preston, Mario, and Janny, so basically it was a lot of fun and really relaxing. We weren’t very busy luckily. As the day went on I felt a little better. Today I feel better, too. Though still kinda sucky, honestly. I’m almost done installing my Sims stuff again. The past few days all I’ve done is sleep though, so I just started back up to getting things back together in that area.

I hate that this Team Leader thing is moving so slow. Though he’s letting me “kinda” run shifts, I still don’t have a code, or know how to get into the safe, or even a card or whatever. Apparently there’s a class on the 2nd, so I guess I have to attend that (there’s another one soon after it though). I just kinda want this thing to pick up the pace, either have me as a team leader or don’t, because the longer I’m performing the duties but not getting paid for it and not being treated fully as management, the less people take it seriously up there (as in co-workers not the managers of course they’ve been nothing but helpful in guiding and training me).

I’ve been enjoying my little routine of coming home, staying up a few hours making stuff online, and trying to get my site together. Soon it will be. Lately though I’ve also been installing my old music stuff and writing music again. Third time’s the charm? It’d be nice now that I’m in such a healthier state of mind. Before, I was lonely, angry, depressed, and was writing very melancholy, sad, songs, and I knew I couldn’t just make an album about depression. It went nowhere, I didn’t even record a lot of it (my studio mic is wasting away in a box by the way O.O) but now my writing is fun, quirky, lovely, lively. I’m excited. I just want to create, and having this sort of… Life of sanity and acceptance, love and family, work and success, has lead to much more creativity mentally.

I’ve probably rambled on long enough but I’ve just been a bit emotional lately about how… Lucky, I am. Love, and the fact that I have a supportive family behind me helping me with everything, I’ve truly grown up so much more in a matter of 3-4 months since I’ve moved out on my own with Aaron. Because once you clear the clouds you make room for the light. Lies that separated and kept distant my family and I have been cleared up long since, and there’s nothing but joy and togetherness now. I just love them so much.

I don’t know why all of this has been on my mind lately, it’s random but I guess everyone thinks about the good things in their lives as well. I’m just very thankful. I’m very happy. I feel like myself again.

Be lovely,